Adventures in Panama: A Long Tale

After taking numerous modes of transit, I found myself in front of a large cement brick structure in a sleepy fishing village on the Pacific side of Panama. That morning I had been at my Venice apartment, nestled in my corner of one of the largest cities in the world. That's when my friend Pope came to pick me up at the local super market

He greeted me with a smile and a deeply burned face. His friend Alice was driving a tiny jeep-esque vehicle, we popped in for a few supplies, and soon were on the road to my digs for the next 48 or so hours. I've always enjoyed my LA digs, but nothing prepared me for what was available to rent in the middle of nowhere Panama. At a thousand words a piece, I'll let the pictures tell this story.

Adventures in Panama: Sitting by the Pool with Beers

Planes, cabs, and the chicken buses...

I'm sitting in the back of a white minivan, next to the man who negotiated the ride. His name is Ejo, and the two of us are headed from Panama's Tocumen airport, out to the Albrook bus terminal. As Tocumen telescoped into the distance, the reality of being small and alone in a foreign world started to sink in.

Feeling alone, and a little excited, I did what Americans are known for the world 'round. I got into some serious small talk with the only other English speaker in the vehicle. Ejo, the man with the powder blue sports coat.

Jack's Adventures in Panama: Down With Ejo

Office bordem or English cabbie?

It was 2009 and I was getting tired of sitting in my office by the windows sealed for "environmental reasons." I had a four day weekend coming. Once or twice I considered going to the movies, or the Getty, but I wanted to do something outlandish, colorful, something to make a good story.

So it was after watching a Facebook video that I considered visiting my friend Pope. He was luxuriating on a hot day with friends, sleeping in the shade and lounging in the pool. I on the other hand was in LA making paperclip necklaces. Suddenly a coworker with pinkeye walked past my desk, and I knew I needed to leave town.

I found airfare for less than an evening in an L.A. nightclub, and headed to Panama.

來自巴拿馬的新年快樂 (Feliz Año Nuevo desde Panamá)

It's a new year in Panama ...

Gung hay fat choy! It's 4709. Welcome to the year of the Dragon. This is supposed to be one of those super lucky years that no one told the Mayans about. I can't speak for the future, but at the dawn of the Ox three years ago I was picking up two dollar bets at a blackjack table like they were grapes. As my tiny bets multiplied, gongs sounded as a dragon dance broke out on the floor. My buddy Pope*, slapped me on the back, and passed me a drink of Seco. My night in Panama City, Panama had just begun.

The Top 5 Reasons My Wee Burns

Fried crickets with chili pepper @ Typhoon.

It's a brand new year, and I think I'm going to try and up my spice intake. People like Dr. Andrew Weil, and Doc Oz recommend it, and if you can't trust Oprah's army, who can you trust? How about the anti-Oprah AskMen.com?

Spicy food is one of life's great wonders, plus it's helped me in a few situations where I needed more bravado than I come by naturally. Tony Bologna has shown us that tolerance of spice can be its own weapon.

Back in high school I had a physics partner, he was a wrestler who used to brag about shooting kids in costumes on Halloween with his BB gun. Well, I wasn't enthusiastic about being paired with the dude, nor him I. Yet his father used to grow spicy Portugese peppers, and I actually won the kid's respect by stomaching two of these peppers raw and off the vine.

Fast forward to my first few bar tending shifts where the only drink I knew how to order was, "the cheapest beer available." I was learning how to sling drinks from an ex-marine and a professional domme, and besides the fact that one of the first questions they asked me was, "Do you prefer girls or boys?" it was common knowledge that many in that restaurant didn't want me picked for the bar position.

A Foodie Thing: A Fried Sandwich & A Roasted Salad

(photo by John @ foodspotting)

If you watch the progressive cooking competitions (Top Chef, Next Iron Chef, etc.) you know that sooner or later the chefs will be asked to tell a story with a dish. It'll be the dish that made them want to be a chef, or a dish that describes a locale, or a dish that reminds them of their favorite family member.

To paraphrase Freud, "Sometimes a cigar shaped sandwich is really a story about your dad."

Recently I've been trying to teach myself to cook, and thanks to these same shows I'm trying to use whatever I have at hand (a la Chopped) to tell stories about the things that inspire me. Recently I was home alone. I was hungary. I made a plate of food. What follows is my story.

2012: A Year in Review

The title isn't a mistake. Even with my love of the Back to the Future films, and their constant time shuffling, I've always considered myself an eternalist. I see the past present and future as an immutable block. Yet at the same time I'm not a big fan of fate.

So, the balmy thing about it all is that I desperately want to control this destiny (fate, whatever) that I don't believe in. I mean, isn't that what's at the heart and soul of the "blog" and "social media" phenomenon? Many come here to document their change and growth, and leave with a real career (think Julie & Julia). Coming on-line is like metaphysical gold prospecting. We bring our muddy souls to the flowing rill of the Internet. We come here to brush away the muck in the hopes of finding some meltable flakes or occasionally a lemon party (right).

I frequently come here to dip into the waters with complaints about my failures, desires, and promises to change. It's the new year -- so what new promises will I be carting in to wash at the shore?

My Happy Birthday Haiku

Our Time Together: Fear of Vodka and Eggs

Our Time Together is the continuing story of Jess and Cyril. Jess lives on one side of town and Cyril lives on the other. After meeting at a friend's party, they started dating, and the following snippets are from the highlights of their continuing relationship. We now join their latest discussion, already in progress...

"A Fear of Vodka, Eggs, and Yogurt"

Our Time Together: We're Both Right

Our Time Together is the continuing story of Jess and Cyril. Jess lives on one side of town and Cyril lives on the other. After meeting at a friend's party, they started dating, and the following snippets are from the highlights of their continuing relationship. We now join their latest discussion, already in progress...

"Because the Universe is Decaying We're Both Right."